bangag

CAUTION: ramblings from someone who has been literally staring at the monitor for quite a number of hours.

i believe that i live almost everyday in a state of "bangag"-ness...and i do not pertain to the commonly known "bangag", indicating a lack of sleep or rest, or something to that extent. I believe that my life as a whole has become bangag-a certain state of limbo, between being awake and being asleep (figuratively, of course). It seems like each 14 hours I am awake that pass everyday has become merely, literally, a passing of time-actions reduced to an almost meaningless set of physical and/or mental kinestetics (tama ba ang spelling, ewan;p); action devoid of consequence or deep reason. Bangag is a robotic reality;a puppet's existence;a pet's disposition; the list goes on...Ironically, although such a concept is absurd and greatly irrelevant even to speak of, much can still be said and compared about and with it. In my ranting, maybe, just maybe, i hope to awaken whatever it is that has the ability to draw me out of such melancholy, either from within or from without, join me in my struggle, or better yet, take me away, far away from here.

... the above rambling of words, in a struggle for coherence, is but a mere reflection of the chaos present in the void within me. So much words to describe so less content.